I once were jealous, whenever I would see someone else and wanted what they had I use to get upset about it and get mad at God because He didn’t give it to me. What childish thoughts I had, little did I know I already had something too and didn’t even know it. Father God wouldn’t just leave me out and give His other children things without giving me mines. Now I know He is a good Father the truth is He love us all with His good gifts.
Boy! I tell you I had my days of jealousy. Whenever I use to come in the room and see Father God talking to one of His children I use to get stone mad at the both of them. Why? Because I saw that their relationship was what I wanted I wanted Him to love me like that, I even felt like I wanted to be them with God, but yet little did I know He love me just the same and I already had Him, but only in my own unique created being how He created and wanted me to love Him, not me being like someone else thinking in a negative way. Oh Wow! That open up my eyes right there to see the bigger picture in the light… and that is, me in my relationship with God we were in the picture together…
The Lord had to do a work in my heart and He did because I eagerly let Him in I wanted to change, I wanted to get closer to Him, I wanted to love Him more intimately, but I didn’t know how He had to show me how. I was so jealous when i use to see His other children come around Him and talk to Him I still got upset for what? Because one of them would come get closely connected to Him and I wasn’t because of my jealous heart? I’ve gotten upset for nothing. Oh! I know why because I was a child.
1 Cor 13:11 says, When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. Even Apostle Paul the man of God had to put his childish things away and become the man God called him to be. So yes it took some time and some godly patience for me too to grow up, put away my childish jealousy and become a woman hallelujah I had to give birth to become this woman for God and when I did I was able to see that God was working on me still and He ain’t finished with me yet.
I begin to seek to speak His heart, to search His love, His ways and desires I was reminded of Proverbs 25:2 scripture, It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter. He searched for my heart and had the patience to wait for me to open up and die to my jealous self and I let it go.
He knew my heart and use that very negative jealous attitude that I had He used it to come back my egotistical jealousy self and He imprinted deep in my spiritual heart a positive way of thinking to be able to see it out His eyes and the way He want me to see it, not only that, but to act on this positive new way and to live in it.
Then something happened I heard purpose ringing in my spirit, of course I answered and said, yes Lord! I give up I shouted out! do it Lord get this out my heart I don’t care if it hurts just do it if You must. I was already tired and I was tired of fighting with God because of me being jealous. Oh by the way He did had to cut it out because the jealousy was very deep. Some stuff the Lord just have to cut into to get out.
So yes my spiritual scar runs very deep that is the reason why I’m so in love with Jesus today everytime I touch the scar in my chest I am reminded that He was able to take my jealousy out and turn it around and used it for my good and His glorious benefits He gave me His heart. Hallelujah glory be to God.
If you’re not sure where you are in your walk with God then ask Him to show you because you just may be out of the season that He has place you in and need to get back in your season with Him. We all have our seasons, times, and moments away from God. That’s not what He wants though because doing those times I found out things begin to happen apart from Him if we aren’t in the right season. We begin to dry out get boring and start to have a crusty spirit toward Him.
After all we all as children of God have a spiritual scar somewhere on our spiritual bodies just ask Him to show you yours it’s the very things that He will use in positive ways to bring you back to Him again.
Make Jesus Christ the Lord of your life today, if you haven’t already peace and blessings to you Amen ❤🙏